Tuesday, September 7, 2010

The Terror That Ego Inflicts

I have an unreasonable fear of standing up in front of a group of people, and it doesn’t seem to matter if I’m merely announcing a book signing date, or God forbid, talking about my books or my ideas. The heart stops to pump, I start to sweat, the knees get weak, and worst of all, the fear causes a muscle spasm of lightening-like pain that shoots down my back. It’s as if ego is saying to me: how dare you be brave enough to speak up for yourself, voice an opinion, or make an effort to be strong!!! Zap, ego says, here’s what happens to you if you do try. I know I’m not alone in this fear; Toast Masters wouldn’t exist if it wasn’t widely felt. Still, I have to deal with it individually. I have a few ideas that might help and, in the meantime, I’m trying to remember that ego is only fighting so hard against this direction because so much love can be found for me in this direction.

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