Tears of Angst

     I was in tears a few days ago; not because anyone died or I was diagnosed with leprosy, but because I was caught up in the illusion instead of the reality of my life. Here’s what was happening in the illusion: my eyes were burning from long hours in front of the computer, a librarian responded that she never bought books unless they were reviewed by one of the big four, my publisher refused to give me more promotional copies, and I hadn’t slept the night before from discovering I’d forgotten an on-line radio show.
      Here’s what was happening in the reality of my life: I was thrilled and excited to have a fast, efficient, and streamlined computer with which to work. I was thrilled and excited to be finding people all over the world willing to support my efforts to get the book out there. I was thrilled and excited that a super-duper social media expert was showing me the ropes in this new-fangled digital age of communication. And I was thrilled and excited that hard work was bringing results.
     Focusing on the illusion brought me heartache. Focusing on the reality brought me joy. The choice was mine; then, now and always.